Episode Transcript
Nina and her partner found themselves caught in a cycle of tension and disconnection.
Arguments seemed to come out of nowhere.
Physical intimacy often led to one or both of them shutting down or pulling away.
They both wanted to feel close, but their bodies reacted before they could make sense of what was happening.
Nina learned about SOFT as a way to understand and heal these patterns.
She and her partner began with individual body awareness.
Each person took time to notice areas of tension or numbness before conversations or intimacy.
Sometimes, this meant pausing to place a hand on the chest, belly, or another area that felt reactive.
By mapping where they felt safe or guarded, both Nina and her partner could recognize their personal triggers.
With SOFT, they were encouraged to move slowly, honoring both their own boundaries and those of their partner.
If one person started to feel overwhelmed, it was okay to pause, take a breath, or even step away for a moment.
There was no pressure to push through discomfort or to “fix” the relationship in a single conversation.
They also practiced co-regulation—simple moments where they breathed together, sat side by side, or held hands with awareness of their own comfort.
This helped them build new habits of nervous system support and communication.
Gradually, these small practices led to more trust and less reactivity.
Arguments became less intense, and physical intimacy felt safer and more connected.
Nina and her partner learned that co-regulation is a skill that can be practiced, not just something that happens automatically.
If you want to bring SOFT into your relationships, try this:
Before an important conversation or moment of intimacy, take a few seconds to notice your body.
Where do you feel tension or ease?
Place a hand on a safe area and breathe.
If possible, share this moment with your partner—breathing together, sitting quietly, or just making eye contact.
Let each person move at their own pace.
SOFT reminds us that connection starts with safety and self-awareness, and that co-regulation can transform the way we relate to others.
If you’re a therapist, yoga instructor, or bodyworker who is interested in learning more about SOFT Certification, take a look at our Level 1, 2, and 3 training programs on our website, thesoftapproach.com
