Episode Transcript
Sometimes, your body says “no,” even when your mind is ready for change.
You may want to relax, feel safe, or open up to intimacy—but instead, your body tenses, braces, or goes numb.
This response is often misunderstood.
The SOFT approach reframes this resistance.
It is not a failure.
It is wisdom.
When you have experienced trauma or chronic stress, your body learns to protect you.
Fascia—the connective tissue that surrounds every muscle and organ—remembers these experiences.
Over time, protective patterns become encoded in your fascia.
This can show up as tension, pain, blankness, or an inability to relax, even in situations that are now safe.
The body’s “no” is not sabotage.
It is a survival strategy.
Consider this example.
Someone has spent years in therapy, working hard to heal.
But when it comes to rest, touch, or intimacy, their body still freezes up or feels numb.
With SOFT, this response is honored.
It is recognized as intelligent self-protection.
These patterns developed in response to overwhelm, pain, or threat.
They are your body’s way of saying, “I am not ready yet.”
SOFT does not push through resistance.
It works by honoring the body’s “no.”
When an area feels tense or blank, permission is given to pause.
You are allowed to skip or return later.
This is not avoidance.
It is respect.
SOFT uses micro-noticing and gentle attention.
You are invited to notice small sensations, without judgment or pressure to change anything.
Over time, this gentle approach helps your body build safety.
As trust develops, the “no” can soften—at its own pace.
You can try a simple practice now.
Take a moment to scan your body.
Notice any area of tension, blankness, or discomfort.
Allow yourself to pause and simply acknowledge it.
There is no need to change anything.
If an area feels too much, it is okay to move your attention somewhere else.
Your body’s wisdom leads the way.
The body’s “no” is not a problem to fix.
It is valuable information.
SOFT supports you in working with your body, not against it.
This is the path to sustainable healing.
